August – From Surreal to Sovereignty
Lessons in Courage through Purity, Contentment and Gratitude
Path from Trauma – Through the Eight Limbs of Yoga…
On Friday, July 12, I was in a surreal horse accident with a horse that I do not usually ride. I ended up with a fracture in my leg, hand, a concussion and a traumatic subarachnoid hemorrhage, which is bleeding outside of the brain. I eventually ended up at Cooper Trauma Center and spent three nights in Cooper Hospital.
One early morning in the hospital, I got out of bed and sat in the reclining chair and began my daily meditation. Here I had a vision of a battlefield and realized that I survived; however, I was thoroughly beaten in the process. I felt very grateful that the injuries were not worse and to be alive.
In order to move forward, you have to go backwards. This all feels very backwards and surreal to me, but I do see where it’s actually forward movement in disguise.
Moving backwards through the path of yoga and my faith. “Jesus advised us to rise above all things by going below all things.” Martha Beck
In Wicca, doing things backwards is actually an old technique to raise power. It is more dangerous than moving forward and much harder to do things going backwards. It takes a lot of concentration to go backwards.
In Blissful Yoga’s yoga teacher training course, we have been practicing saucha as a part of the eight limbs of yoga. Saucha is a Sanskrit word that means purity and cleanliness.
The practice of saucha is keeping our thoughts pure and clean as well as our bodies. I had to slow down. I had to use a shower stool and needed my family to help me shower. Then on day 11, I took the first shower by myself! Now, I’m able to shower standing up without the stool which is big progress!
The internal process of saucha for me, was not emotionally beating myself up. Intuitively, I did not feel good about riding that horse or any other horse that was recommended to me. So, I did not follow my intuition. Teaching others to hear, listen and follow their intuition, is my job and I failed to do it myself. Yikes!
This has been a deep process of not attacking myself and keeping my thoughts pure.
As a person who is choosing to walk consciously, when I do not follow my intuition, there are grave consequences.
During this time, saucha has taught me that in order to be pure with my thoughts and clean my body, I have to
S L O W D O W N.
My next practice, and one that we have been learning about in Blissful Yoga’s yoga teacher training course has been, santosha. Santosha is a Sanskrit word that means contentment. This is choosing to look at everything that happens in life as opportunities to learn. Using this time as an opportunity to go deeper into my practice and look for the lessons in this situation.
My daily yoga practice has been so very different from what I’m used to doing. Most of myasanas are lying down or seated and even then, it’s been challenging to find a practice that works for me. Learning to accept my body during this time as I watch my body change. Being in acceptance and contentment with not being as strong as I was. At times, I feel I’m losing my body from not doing more powerful yoga, but then I find contentment in this gentler introspective practice which has been fulfilling. In truth, I think the real powerful poses, are the gentler ones. Taking this gentler wisdom off of the mat is the practice of contentment.
This path has not been easy. It’s been painful like metamorphosis. As I shed old skin, there is struggle. The struggle to free myself.
Because of the brain injury, I’ve had to lesson my work load tremendously. If I did not have my own business, I would not be working at all. So, I have barely done any work.
Ironically, the work that doesn’t hurt my head, is when I’m using my intuition, and when I’m in the flow, like when I’m mentoring or leading classes but without following notes.
Santosha teaches me to release doubt and trust myself and the Universe.
T R U S T Y O U R S E L F!
My faith has been focusing on gratitude. I am grateful for friends, family, in home nurse care, in home physical therapy and in home occupational therapy. I am grateful for friends driving me to the studio and to doctor appointments. I am so very grateful for my loving family that has my back and has taken care of me. Now I am grateful for the opportunity to heal some more at the beach, as I am writing this letter from Ship Bottom.So, ending with thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thanking the Universe for the courage to move forward through the backwardness and for learning to stand in sovereignty, in the power of myself.
Parvati Victoria Goodwin
Spiritual Mentor, Intuitive Healer & Yoga Teacher